Talk:Lebanon at the 1948 Summer Olympics/GA1

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Nominator: Jordano53 (talk · contribs) 16:54, 29 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Arconning (talk · contribs) 10:27, 9 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Will review in a few days. Arconning (talk) 10:27, 9 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Jordano53 Here are my comments, the quality of the article as of now is quite bleak. Arconning (talk) 14:32, 14 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• For all of the event sections, the venue of the competitions should probably be put and sourced.
• I highly advise to change mentions of "1948 Games" to "1948 Summer Games" to make a distinction between the Winter and Summer Games.
• The eventual winner of each event should be put.

• I don't see how "The West Asian country of" is anyhow relevant to the article. Most, if not all Olympic-participation articles disregard their geographical location and put the name of their nation first.
• London should be wikilinked whilst United Kingdom should be replaced with Great Britain as that is how the nation is represented at the Olympic Games.
• The dates when these Olympics were held needs to be sourced within the body.
• Mention how their participation came to be (e.g. formation of National Olympic Committee) as their participation was their first at a Summer Games.
• Expand more on the athletes' participation rather than saying they all failed to win any medals, more about their individual placements.

• The rest of the delegation isn't mentioned, officials such as attache Fawzy Shehadi are mentioned in the report and should be mentioned in the article.
• Wikilink Berlin.
• influenced by the German people's nationalism and discipline., this is quite vague. This could probably be merged with the following sentence for more clarity.
• Add (IOC) after the first mention of "International Olympic Committee" as the acronym is used after it.

• The section is quite short... just a comment.

• What was the maximum number of points/targets per event?

• competing in the lightweight competition., who competed in the lightweight competition.
• due to a quality technical performance. , I'm confused with this wording.
• This brought him to the maximum of five points, eliminating him., use last names for clarity.
• During the third round on 5 August, however,, "however" does not make sense in this context.
• tied with three other wrestlers, "tying him with three other wrestylers"
• The fourth paragraph has so much commas that can be lessened by better wording.
• Ibrahim Mahgoub represented Lebanon., I mean this is kinda obvious at this point. Though the rest of this paragraph is worded quite nicely.

• Sources within the article heavily use Olympedia and Sports Reference which isn't a problem at all though it would be much better if there's more variation in sourcing. This can be used for some of the points to mix it up [1]. If the article heavily bases on the database, it might be failed per criteria 3a.

• All media is freely licensed and are relevant to the article.

• No ongoing edit war, not broad enough information so far.

@Arconning: Thanks for your comprehensive review! I'm still fairly new at writing these summaries so your comments are truly appreciated. I believe I've implemented just about every one of your review points, although I am just a bit confused about the "Mention how their participation came to be (e.g. formation of National Olympic Committee) as their participation was their first at a Summer Games" comment, as I believe this to be covered to about the fullest extent it can be- the details of pre-independence motivation is there, along with the date the Olympic Committee was formed, when the IOC recognized it, and even the piece of legislation that created it. I'm just curious as to what's missing for that to to be considered good? Jordano⁵³ 05:19, 15 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Jordano53 Those details were the ones I was pertaining to. Mention a summarized version of it in the lead is what I was referring to my previous messages. I'll add more comments soon. Arconning (talk) 07:48, 15 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Arconning: Ah, silly me. Info added to lead. Jordano⁵³ 15:35, 15 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Jordano53 More comments.

• Hilmi scored 56 out of 100 points in the first round, 56 out of 100 in the second, 61 out of 100 in the third, 58 out of 100 in the fourth, 47 out of 100 in the fifth, and 53 out of 100 in the sixth., I feel like you could just mention the "out of 100" on the first instance. This applies to all of the other similar statements in the section.
• In infobox: Wikilink London + add Great Britain (i.e. London, Great Britain)
  • Unbold the number of competitors and sports competed in.

Arconning (talk) 13:13, 16 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Arconning: Done. Jordano⁵³ 13:43, 16 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]