Talk:American Samoa at the 2024 Summer Olympics

This review is transcluded from Talk:American Samoa at the 2024 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Arconning (talk · contribs) 14:58, 7 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Arconning, I'll review this one. I actually brought the event Masei competed in to GAN last week! Consider reviewing if you fancy. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I suspect this will need a little copyediting after the first round of changes. IAWW (talk) 21:34, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

"athletics" and "swimming" can be linked to athletics and swimming. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Suggest adding a short explanation of what a "universality slot" is. It could also probably be redlinked, as a quick internet search deems it notable. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Masei first competed for the territory, competing in the men's 100 meter breaststroke but did not progress further after not finishing with a fast enough time: Further than what? The sentence also generally lacks clarity. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

, though [he] set a national record in the event: "he" makes this an independent clause, so the comma is justified (WP:CINS) IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good :)

Looks good :)

Looks good :)

Looks good :)

which allows a National Olympic Committee (NOC) to send athletes despite not meeting the standard qualification criteria: Suggest adding that they exist so underrepresented nations can compete. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

achieved [the] times needed for selection: Maybe also clarify who these times were set by? Since it wasn't the IOC. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Iakopo is originally from the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (CNMI) though represented American Samoa as her father, US Air Force veteran Stanley Iakopo, was born in American Samoa and due to the fact that the CNMI does not have a recognized National Olympic Committee, stating mixed feelings for her participation though expressed it as an opportunity to represent Pacific Islanders on a "global stage".: This is way too long to be punctuated with nothing but commas. It makes it very unclear and hard to read. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I think linking "mixed feelings" is over linking. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

and advance to the heats of Round 1 by placing in the top three of her preliminary heat: This is quite hard to understand as someone who isn't familiar with the athletics qualification process. I suggest cutting "advance to the heats of Round 1 by" which is the source of the lack of clarity. Or cut the whole thing since it could be considered excessive detail. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

that were set at her Olympic debut: Repeat of information already known. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Almost nothing in the "key" is used in the table. Since "NR" is already linked I suggest cutting the key. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

and placed first in his heat, not advancing further: This seems quite contradictory unless you are familiar with the swimming qualification system. I suggest adding a brief explanation as to why he didn't progress. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

training without the use of a swimming pool: "Training in the ocean" would be a lot clearer here. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The lead-up to the games saw Masei compete at the 2023 World Aquatics Championships, 2023 Pacific Games, where he earned silver and bronze in the 100 and 50 meter breaststroke respectively, 2024 World Aquatics Championships, and 2024 Oceania Swimming Championships, where he earned silver in the 50 meter breaststroke and set a national record in the 100 meter breaststroke with 1:04.64 for the gold medal: This would be much clearer if it was separated with semi-colons instead of commas, since some of the list items contain commas themselves. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good :)

No issues with link rot, all is archived.

Almost all news and official results. Probably the most questionable source is 3 Wire Sports, but it is written by someone who has published books on sport, and the website was referenced by a journal. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Spot check based on this version.

[1]: Y

[2]: Y

[4a]: Y

[9]: Y

[15a]: Y

[16]: Y

[15b, 3b]: Y

[20]: Y

Well done, no issues here! IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Earwig finds nothing, and all the sources are online so it's very unlikely to have missed anything.

Seems to be quite detailed. I don't see anything missing.

Masei first competed for the territory, competing in the men's 100 meter breaststroke: Duplication of competing is awkward IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

He resumed training for the sport on February 2023, training without the use of a swimming pool: Same here IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Prior to the games, he trained in a camp in Divonne-les-Bains for ten days, with him praising the camp's location and the athletes who trained there alongside him: "with him" is grammatically correct but clunky. I suggest replacing with something more direct. IAWW (talk) 21:33, 22 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world Done! Let me know if there are some more. Arconning (talk) 02:40, 23 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Arconning, I made a few copyedits myself that I didn't think were worth discussing. Feel free to revert any issues. I suggest taking a look at how structured the semi-colon list so you understand how they should be structured in the future.

I think this article is now ready to be passed. Thanks for another great Olympic article! IAWW (talk) 18:10, 23 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]